At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
