is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
