Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
