too bad you live with your parents still
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
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nutella sex= disaster
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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