Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
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Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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