so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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