there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize