it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
