I must be too annoying 4 u.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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