Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
