At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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