I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
