You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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