just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
