she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
