see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
