I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So many bounce houses so little time
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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