what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
