we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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