i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize