The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
