Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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