A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
