Ambien. No doubt about it.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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