she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
