Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
