his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
