so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
