you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
