im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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