We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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