When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
sick fucks of a feather flock together
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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