There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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