I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
