Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize