You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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