i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
