And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
