its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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