So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
