I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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