Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
