So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
