He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
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At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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