I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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