I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
