If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
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We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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