Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My feet surprised me
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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