Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize