She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize