i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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