piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
