with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
