yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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