Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
