I just made out with a guy for $7.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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