Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
