even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
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Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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