Have you finally orgasmed yet?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
