Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We are all done wearing pants today
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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