i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
